


Tony Stark Never Gave the Avengers Starkphones

by Rjslpets



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War, Drabbles, Gen, I despair of Marvel's Writers Sometimes, plot holes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 23:05:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13468470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rjslpets/pseuds/Rjslpets
Summary: One of your former teammates calls you in the middle of the night and tells you that two of your other former teammates have gone off the deep end and are holding a fourth former teammate hostage. Do youa) immediately assume that the person who calls you is correct and act without any confirmation?b) go WTF and reach out to the 'imprisoned' teammate on their perfectly good mobile phone?c) call your good friend on the team to ask WTF?d) tell the teammate to stop calling you while drunk and go back to bed?





	1. You Get a Call In the Middle of the Night From a Former Teammate

**Author's Note:**

> Starkphones are the best in the world, right? So they should actually work.

Clint hung up the phone. Laura looked over and asked him what was going on. “That was Cap and he said he needs me to rescue Wanda who Tony has imprisoned at the Compound and come help with a world-ending threat in Siberia.”

“Why would Tony imprison Wanda? And why would Cap call you to help with something in Siberia? He has Sam, Natasha, Rhodes and Vision, even if Tony’s gone off the deep end.”

“I guess the Wanda thing might have something to do with Lagos?” Clint replied uncertainly, “That was a complete fuck up of a mission. Maybe Tony confined her because of the explosion? It doesn’t make a lot of sense.” Clint was still, thinking.

“Why don’t you call Wanda or Nat before you go off? I don’t want to disappoint the kids if Cap has hold of the wrong end of the stick.”

“Good idea.” Clint pulled out his phone and called Wanda. “Hey Wanda, Cap called and wanted me to ‘free’ you from the Compound?”

There was a moment of silence and then Wanda replied in a very confused tone, “I’m at the Compound. Vision and I were discussing the Accords and he is trying to make me dinner to cheer me up with everything…” her voice trailed off.

“Yeah, kid. I saw the footage from Lagos. It’s always hard when a mission goes bad like that. Did Tony tell you to lie low with the bad press and everything?”

“No, he had to fly to Europe with Natasha and Col. Rhodes to talk to the UN about the Accords. He hasn’t really said anything to me. Natasha said that we would go through everything when she got back.”

Clint glanced at Laura who was listening to both sides of the conversation. He shook his head in response to her look. “Wanda, did you guys have a debrief on what happened in Lagos yet?”

“No.”

This time, Clint watched Laura’s eyebrows fly up to her hairline and he agreed, “So, no one has talked to you about the whole situation and what’s going to happen now?”

“Well, Steve told me not to think about it because it might slow me down later and that we can’t save everyone, so we have to do the best we can.” Clint almost slammed back into the headboard. Laura looked completely sympathetic to that idea.

“Well, Wanda, there are consequences to situations like this. I assume that Tony must be trying to deal with them since it doesn’t sound like Cap is which makes sense since Tony is better at the political stuff. Um, I’d stay in the Compound if I were you. There’s a lot of anger around now and you’re probably better off laying low until Tony deals with it. I’ll call Nat to make sure she calls you.”

“OK Clint. I’ll stay here with Vision.”

Clint hung and up and looked over at Laura. His wife shrugged and said, “Makes sense that she stays in. I wonder why they haven’t talked about what happened?”

“I can ask Nat.” Clint dialed her and she picked up immediately as she always did when he called, “Hey Nat! I got a really strange call from Cap saying I had to ‘free’ Wanda from the Compound. I called her and I guess Tony is trying to keep her out of the public eye?”

Clint could practically hear Natasha’s eyes rolling, although her voice was as professional as ever, “Her visa’s a bit of a mess. Nigeria has an extradition treaty and is calling for blood so Tony told Vision to keep her in the Compound. They still don’t talk.” Her sigh was echoed by Clint’s. They had both tried to talk to Wanda about her dislike of Tony and she was now polite to him but the two avoided interaction whenever possible.

“Nat, he also said something about a threat in Siberia?”

“What?” he heard her surprise and wondered why Cap hadn’t told her.

 “Yeah, something about frozen super soldiers in an abandoned Hydra base.”

A completely filthy Russian curse came over the line. “I have to go, Clint. I’ll take care of it – don’t get involved here. It’s a political mess. Say hi to everyone and I’ll come see you in a few days and explain.” She clicked off without waiting for a response which was typical of her. Clint looked at Laura, they both shrugged and went back to sleep.

(Natasha called Steve and found out about the soldiers; called Steve an idiot; helped Tony identify Zemo and had the Russians arrest him when he came off the plane. The Russian government and the Accords panel had a round robin fight about what to do about the Winter Soldiers. The Russians insisted that the records showed they were all Russians citizens and therefore it was no else’s problems. The Accords Panel trusted the Russians as much as they trusted each other and, finally, Finland and Switzerland were sent with the Red Cross to supervise the wakening and treatment of the Winter Soldiers. Three of them were later executed by Russia after trials and the remaining two turned out to be brainwashed and wound up at a clinic in Finland for three years.)


	2. Well, She At Least Speaks Russion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Steve have mobile phones that work and more than one number in their contacts list

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because, really, does anyone think the Black Widow would feel bound by her word on a document? Anyone?

“You know, what about Nat? I don’t feel comfortable calling Stark, but Nat will help us. And, let’s face it, she knows far more about Russia than we do.” Sam went on, after telling Steve not to call Stark.

“But she signed the Accords too.”

“Can you see Nat letting a bunch of paper get in her way? She told you that she just signed them to keep some power in the situation, right? So I bet she would help us.”

They call Natasha who curses them out in Russian which they don’t understand. She then calls the Russian authorities who apprehend Zemo at the airport. She also tells Steve to bring Bucky in so they can get him the treatment that he needs. Steve brings up Wanda and Nat tells him about the visa issues (which Tony already mentioned, but Steve actually listens to Natasha). And that is the end of the movie – everything solved because Tony gave everyone Starkphones with international calling plans.

The Russian government and the Accords panel had a round robin fight about what to do about the Winter Soldiers. The Russians insisted that the records showed they were all Russians citizens and therefore it was Russia's problem. The Accords Panel trusted the Russians as much as they trusted each other and, finally, representatives from Finland and Switzerland were sent with the Red Cross to supervise the wakening and treatment of the Winter Soldiers. Three of them were later executed by Russia after trials and the remaining two turned out to be brainwashed and wound up at a clinic in Finland for three years.


End file.
